Too much light to deny
by Unholy Preacher
Summary: Set before the first tournament. This story follows the carefree life of a young kunoichi and her experiences with love, family, and friendships.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Tecmo. Story an amalgamation of outside influences.  
  
  
  
We live desperately each day. Each moment we trod on hopelessly, unable to control the things that are going on around us. The world's always spinning; it never stops. And most of us just get swept away by it.  
  
It's moving so fast that I can't keep up with it and not lose anything that's important. Sacrifice has always been a part of change, but sometimes it's just too much. Or maybe I was just too afraid.  
  
The streets were crowded, yet empty. There was no where I could hide. Eyes stared and then passed over me. I was just another part of the everyday mundane faces that people pass by. But I still felt exposed – uncomfortable in my own skin. I walked as far to the sides as I could – not wanting to get in the way of the functioning of the rest of the world. After all, I really didn't feel like I was part of it anymore.  
  
My feet were starting to tire from the long walk from school, but finally I arrived at the bottom stairs that led to our apartment. My brother was on the balcony, staring out into the skyline. I think he saw me as I walked up, but he rarely ever acknowledged anything anymore. He just sat there on his wheelchair, smoking a cigarette. I looked to where he was gazing. Blackened shapes of small buildings and old television antennas loomed against an orange-rusted atmosphere.  
  
I opened the door leading to the kitchen. Our home was cramped, but it was enough for the three of us to live in. The hallway was narrow. I saw my father as I passed his room. He was sitting quietly still – looking at a picture of my mother. He usually did this when he wasn't out at work. He never got over the grief of mom dying.  
  
I went straight to the bathroom. I turned on the faucet in the sink and began to wash my hands. After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door. I could hear my brother's voice on the other side, asking to come in.  
  
My brother had been crippled for almost a year now. The night it had happened would forever be etched in my memory. I remembered that my father was working late. I was alone in my room writing an essay that was due tomorrow. There was a bit of commotion outside. I looked out to see a few figures in the dark, fighting. I shut the blinds. I didn't want to be disturbed.  
  
This went on for about half an hour. I didn't really want to get involved – I hated fighting. I tried to shut out the voices, but I couldn't. One of them was obviously being ganged up on – screaming from pain. I parted the blinds to see. Lights could still be seen through the windows all throughout our block. I wasn't the only one who heard this or noticed this. I went back to my school work – sure that someone would have called the police by now.  
  
The commotion seemed to have stopped. And I was able to finish my paper and go to sleep. I was woken up later that night by a knocking on my door. I heard my father's voice telling me to get up. I got up groggily from bed and opened the door. My father was standing in front of me. There were other voices too that were down below our apartment building. I asked him what was going on. He said he'd tell me later and that I had to get dressed immediately.  
  
I did as he told and afterwards, went downstairs to find a cab waiting for us. As we were being driven, he told me that my brother had just been rushed to the hospital only minutes ago. When father came home, he found Hayate lying unconscious on the street. He didn't know, but I realized what happened; it had been hours since my brother had been out there. Almost the whole neighborhood had been a witness to the attack. But no one came to help him, not even me.  
  
It happens more often than we think. It's almost as if it's human nature. We assume that someone else will help that person and not want to get ourselves involved. In my brother's case, it ended up with no one coming to his aid at all.  
  
I snapped out of my thoughts and let the water wash away the feeling of uncleanliness from my hands. I didn't open the door immediately. I had to wash my hands for a certain amount of time. After I finished, I got out and made way for Hayate to stroll past. I asked him if he needed help. He only shook his head and closed the door. 


	2. Chapter 2

"This makes absolutely no sense at all." I heard a girl to my left say.  
  
She was talking to her friend about the math work we were given. One of the smart boys in our class went up to her to try to help her. The girl was very pretty, and he was doing what he could to be just part of her world – even just the smallest part. She acted friendly with him; but under any other circumstances, she wouldn't even give him the time of day.  
  
I had never been comfortable around boys. This was my second year in high school now. While most of the girls I went to junior high with started going out more with boys, I became shyer around them. In the hallways, when I would walk in-between classes, I would always cast my eyes down. It wasn't only boys; I had withdrawn from everything – school, my old friends…life.  
  
I asked the teacher if I could be excused to the girl's room.  
  
As I reached its entrance, I took out a handkerchief to place over the handle of the door. The bathroom was a bit crowded. I ignored the group of girls taking and headed straight towards one of the sinks. I turned on the hot water fully and placed my hands under it. The water scorched my skin, but I endured it. I had to get clean.  
  
After the minutes passed, I noticed that the other girls had already left, and that I was all alone. All that could be heard throughout the empty room was the sound of flowing water hitting against the marble sink.  
  
Then another sound joined it.  
  
The door opened. It was an underclassman. I knew who she was by her hair. It always stood out. I also knew her because of our past together. It was my half-sister, Ayane. She saw me too, but she didn't acknowledge it, and just walked past me towards another sink. We usually didn't talk to each other anymore. I knew she hated me. For a long time, I thought I hated her too, but it wasn't that.  
  
Ayane was the daughter of my mother and another man. My father never really talked about it. And when the subject was brought up, it was always changed. In fact, I didn't even really know she was only my half-sister until a few days before mother passed away. It was she who told me the truth about Ayane. She held my hands to comfort me and help try to make me understand. But I didn't want it. I felt betrayed. I hated her. I thought I hated Ayane too.  
  
A few days after mom died, my father didn't want to take care of Ayane anymore and sent her to live with a family friend close-by. When I think back on it, father always treated her coldly. I began to take out my resentment on her too. I've always regretted that – the pain I'd deliberately tried to cause her.  
  
I suddenly heard her footsteps walk past me again. I looked at her reflection in the mirror as she walked past me. I cast my eyes back down and returned to diligently washing and scrubbing my hands. 


	3. Chapter 3

I placed my books on the table and went directly to the fridge for a drink. I took out a handkerchief and placed it over the handle to open it. The cold, frigid air greeted me strangely. I used the small white piece of cloth again to take out a bottle of orange juice. I set it on the table along side the bag of freshly baked bread that I had just bought from the bakery on the way home. It was then that the slam of the door startled me. I looked up to see my brother's best friend through the kitchen door. He looked like he was in a hurry, panting I would guess from the walk up the stairs.  
  
"Hello, Ryu." I greeted. His face was a mask of seriousness.  
  
"Where's Hayate?" The question was very abrupt, sudden. Indicating, at least to me, something importantly dire.  
  
"I don't know, I was alone when I got here just a minute ago." I was worried by his expression. "Is something the matter?"  
  
He eased his face as well as posture quite a bit. "No, nothing serious. It's just that I have to leave for the airport now and I was hoping to catch him to tell him goodbye."  
  
"Didn't you call him in his cell phone?"  
  
"I did, but he didn't answer."  
  
"He probably just left it here." I said, thinking nothing at all strange. "He's always doing that. He goes out a lot, God knows where."  
  
"Isn't he at work most of the time?" His voice showed a hint of concern. My imaginings would like to think it was for me, but I knew it was for my brother.  
  
"He doesn't work anymore." I said, a faint trace of sadness for what my brother had become. "I always thought he was with you."  
  
Ryu's face and voice turned grim. "I rarely see him anymore."  
  
I became more concerned for my brother. My thoughts, though, went back to what Ryu had just told me. "Why are you leaving for the airport?"  
  
"Oh, I uh, have to go to America." His eyes wandered on the floor.  
  
"And you didn't tell us before?" I was a bit shocked, but mostly disappointed. I didn't know exactly why. Maybe it was because I had come to regard Ryu as much a part of the family as any of them. "This is kind of sudden isn't it?" To my bewilderment, the stress showing in my voice was more than I could explain.  
  
"I just got a message from my father." His voice was strained, strangely determined. "You know he's disappeared, for a long time now. This is my first clue to where he is Kasumi, if he's even still alive." He inched closer towards me and touched my shoulder. "I have to go. You understand that don't you?"  
  
The point of where his hand touched my skin burned, as if physically. I wanted to cry out from the pain. My mind screamed for an explanation, as if what he had said just wasn't enough. Instead all I could mutter was a whisper. "I understand."  
  
"Thank you, Kasumi." He took out his hand, but the pain was still there. "I have to go now or I'll miss my flight. Tell Hayate and your father goodbye for me."  
  
"Okay." I forced a warm smile, to some, as it is to me, just a way to hold back tears.  
  
And as he was leaving though the kitchen door, Ryu turned to me and a smile crept to his face. "Goodbye, Kasumi. Don't worry, we'll see each other again."  
  
He didn't wait for a response; he went down the stairs immediately. Another one of the few people I had in my life was gone. There was a sinking emptiness deep inside my chest - somewhere I think a person's heart would be. "Goodbye Ryu." I whispered, thinking as if my conviction in those words would make him hear it in his mind.  
  
I only stood there for the longest time, arms to my sides, still and unmoving. It wasn't til' I felt that burning on my shoulders again, that I snapped out of it. This time though, there was an absence of the purity that came with the pain before. Now it was like a cancer attempting spread all over my skin.  
  
I hurried towards the bathroom and quickly turned on the showers. As I went in under the hot scalding water, I laughed slightly in dismay. Even with someone as close to me as Ryu, I could not bear to be touched. Finally, I fell down as my tears were washed away. 


End file.
